A positive attitude

A story we are all familiar with, two people look at the same glass: one sees it as ‘half full’, the other sees it as ‘half empty’.

Hello again. Where are the weeks going? One minute we are stressing about the kids being off school the next we are finishing our first month of class work, homework and the new normal.

This week I’m focusing on issue 22 which for all you familiar with the Growing Child Programme means 22 months! Oh, what a busy but fun stage. Your toddler wants to do everything ‘By myself’. Sometimes you’re in a hurry and your toddler is adamant to get those shoes on ‘By myself’. Other times you sit and watch in amusement at how smart your little one is and how capable!

They show independence by walking, climbing up, climbing down, running and jumping. I know Rebecca my youngest is now so independent. She won’t hold my hand, she won’t let me help her put on her shoes or socks …unless she really struggles but she tries every time. I enjoy watching her do these little things as her personality is shining through each time.

While your child is starting to become independent your emotions may change. Your baby isn’t needing your help as much as before. But we must always remember to have a positive attitude and adapt to change. Your feelings will pass onto your child. The more positive you are, the happier your child will be while becoming independent because they have support from their mum/dad/carers.

An attitude is something we can work on changing. If I perceive that my attitudes on life are more negative than positive, I can deliberately make a greater effort to focus on the positive (versus negative) aspects of the situation.

Giving your child the reassurance that he is loved unconditionally will help him to be more in tune with his world, and therefore, behave more positively. On the contrary when a child feels threatened and unloved because of a parent’s negative attitude, he is more likely to develop negative feelings towards himself.  This unfortunately usually leads to your child developing worse behaviour. Remember when parenting to be realistic without being over the top.

Here are 3 good reasons for seeking to develop and maintain a more positive attitude as a parent:

  1. My attitude helps to determine how I perceive my child’s behaviour.

For example, if my child has started saying ‘no’ a lot – there are a number of ways you can view this. ‘My child is developing a healthy sense of autonomy and independence’ or ‘my child is becoming a little monster’, or ‘oh the terrible twos have started’.

  1. My attitude helps to determine how I will react.

For example, a parent using the first example above, will be showing more love and affection to reassure their child that its natural and okay for him to demonstrate greater independence as he gets older. Whereas if the parent views their little child as a little monster, they’re more likely to respond more negatively and use threats like ‘you’ll lose TV time if you don’t stop’.

  1. And very importantly my attitude will affect how my child will respond.

When a parent exhibits a positive attitude towards their child’s behaviour, the child is more likely to develop positive attitudes towards life.

I hope this has given you some food for thought towards your way of thinking. Always think twice before you react. If in doubt, like so many situations in life (maybe not with children) it may help to ‘sleep on it’. Your opinion may change in the morning and you may have forgotten what you where annoyed about! Another thing to ask yourself when presented with a negative situation may be ‘what am I hoping to gain from this’. It may stop you from doing something or saying something you will regret. You are your child’s role model – be the best you can be! A lot of your child’s behaviour comes down to parenting and the parent’s attitude. We also have books on child behaviour if anyone is interested. You can contact us through our FB page if you’d like more info.

Have a lovely weekend.